Let’s start with a confession: I’m terrible at saying no.

Not just bad, I’m atrocious!

I can’t even remember the last time I did it. I tried, honestly, but my brain came up with a blank. Which, considering how much I say yes to everything, shouldn’t be a surprise.

But December is here. It’s the month where “yes” starts piling up like glitter at a kids crafting table, and before you know it, you’re left buried in commitments that you never wanted in the first place.

And here’s the kicker: saying no isn’t just a holiday survival tactic; it’s also one of the best writing conflict tips you’ll ever hear.

Think about it. Every memorable plot, every page-turner you couldn’t put down, is driven by conflict, and that conflict often starts with a no.

So, while I figure out how to say no to my next “urgent” invite or present that I need to run out and buy, let’s dive into why mastering the art of refusal is as essential to your December as it is to your storytelling.

Why Saying No Matters in Life and Writing.

Saying ‘no’ isn’t just making up an excuse, or pretending you didn’t see that text so you don’t have to reply, it’s about creating space for what really matters. It can be a hard thing to do, and often saying no is covered in guilt and messy emotions, both for you and your characters.

And when it comes to crafting great stories, this might be one of the most underrated writing conflict tips out there. I mean, it sounds too simple, right?

In real life, ‘no’ helps us set boundaries.

It’s a word that I’m guessing you don’t use as much as you should, that’s because at heart, we all want people to like us. We don’t want to be the voice of doom or the person crossing their arms and shaking their head, but we also all know how important it is to do that sometimes.

Looking at the ‘no’ in writing, and it’s clear to see that it’s the word that creates the tension. Refusal ups the stakes so that readers keep turning the pages. It’s the moment a character says no to an offer, a plan, or an expectation that sets the plot spinning forward. Writing conflict tips the plot forward, gives it momentum and gets the story started.

When your main character gets the ‘call to action’ at the very beginning of the book, if they turn around and say, ‘oh go on then,’ your reader won’t really care. They kind of HAVE to say no.

Learning when to say no, in your own life and in your writing, can be the key to clarity, focus, and a whole lot of drama (the good kind).

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Writing Conflict Tips : The Role of ‘No’ in Writing

So ‘no’ is the spark, and this is one of those writing conflict tips that sounds simple but has endless depth. Because even though we’re discussing it here as a spoken word, it can also be an internal no. A conflict of a deeper and hidden kind.

Is your character drawing a line to themselves, to someone, or something else?

Maybe it’s a refusal to follow the rules, like Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games. Or maybe it’s internal, the the voice in their head saying no to self-doubt or fear.

In Lord of the Rings, Frodo’s internal voice repeatedly urges him to abandon the Ring and run from his responsibility. At the start of Frozen, it’s Elsa’s internal voice that tells her not to use her powers.

Every no is a step toward defining who your character is and what they’re willing to fight for, and that can be a very real and obvious no, or a softer and more secret no.

Choosing what type of ‘no’ is the very best thing about this writing conflict tip, you think it’s simple, but in fact, it can be a very layered strategy that defines the core of the character that you’re writing about.

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How to Craft Characters Who Say ‘No‘

If your characters are saying yes to everything, they’re not characters, they’re doormats. And nobody wants to read about a doormat.

Strong characters push back. They stand their ground, and make choices that create tension. And remember, this can all happen within themselves.

They don’t actually need any other characters for this tension to grow and build.

Mark Watney in The Martian had so many arguments with himself when he was saying no, as did Tom Hanks when he was playing Chuck Noland in the Castaway.

One of the best writing conflict tips for creating memorable characters is to focus on their motivations behind every ‘no.’

This is really key to deepening your character and making what they do believable. It’s also a large part of what will drive your plot forward, as no particular element works on its own in writing, they’re all connected, and so, work out the before and the after your ‘no.’

Think about it. Are they refusing out of fear? Defiance? Loyalty? A well-placed no doesn’t just create conflict, it makes your characters more relatable and your story more dynamic. Writing conflict tips the character into his real back story, the why and the reason they do what they do.

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When to Say ‘No’ (and When to Say ‘Yes’) in Real Life

Life is full of yes/no decisions, especially during the holiday chaos that we’re all in the middle of right now.

Should you go to that party? The school fair? Do you really need to spend all that money on that present?

One of the sneakiest writing conflict tips is to pay attention to your own life.

The struggles you face when deciding to say no, or yes, are the same kinds of conflicts your characters should wrestle with.

EVERYONE wants to say ‘no’ when they end up saying ‘yes,’ at some point. It’s a human thing, it’s a relatable thing, and it will make your readers fall in love with your characters when they read about this conflict, be it internal or external.

Pro writing conflict tips: say yes to what fills your cup and no to what drains it. Then, use those moments as inspiration to craft richer, more believable stories.

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Turning No Into a Page-Turning Hook

If you want to grab a reader’s attention, start with a no.

Don’t wait until you’ve introduced the characters, setting, maybe a few scenes so people can get to know your people. Nope. That way boredom lies. Start with that hard ‘no’ on the first page.

In all of my books, the ‘no’ is right there in the opening paragraphs.

For Closer Than She Thinks, my main character, Louise, is standing over a body with an internal question. Is he dead?

You can feel her screaming NOOOOOOOOO! As she stares at the body, frozen on the spot. It’s an internal conflict within her. She doesn’t want to be there and yet, ‘his body is the anchor keeping me tethered to the room.’

In The Secretary, the book opens with a letter written from an inmate in prison. Someone has said no to them and they write, ‘you want me to beg? OK I’m begging, please write me a bloody letter.’

The ‘no’ is right there, before you even turn the page.

Let your story open with a character refusing or trying to refuse something critical, something that will cost them if they walk away. This is one of the most effective writing conflict tips to make your opening scene irresistible.

For example, think about the classic “call to adventure” trope. The hero almost always says no at first. Frodo doesn’t want to leave the Shire. Harry doesn’t want to believe he’s a wizard. That initial resistance is what makes their eventual journey so satisfying.

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The Ultimate Writing Conflict Tip: Say No to Perfectionism

This might be the hardest ‘no’ of all, but it’s the most important one as a writer.

Saying no to perfectionism is one of those writing conflict tips that applies both on and off the page. In your story, perfectionism might manifest as a character who’s afraid to take risks. In your writing life, it’s the voice that tells you your draft isn’t good enough to share.

We’ve all had imposter syndrome, the inner critic that peeps over your shoulder as you’re writing and shouts ‘nooooooo! Stop typing you idiot, this is RUBBISH!’

So here’s me, telling you to say no to that voice. A really loud, shouty NO.

The truth? Messy is good.

Imperfect is progress.

And saying no to perfectionism frees you to actually finish your work, which is the ultimate win.

So say no to the party you don’t want to go to. Say no to the obligations and the guilt, say no to doing things you don’t want to and you’ll feel all the better for it!

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